"You never know what you have until it's gone". The years-old adage has never really meant as much to me as it does now. I'm going to try and avoid using clichés as much as possible, but as we finished off preseason - headed from one tournament to the next - and Pac-12 is now here, it's proving to be fairly difficult. I've realized that somehow I blinked, am now a fifth year senior, and am in my last days of college ball. With less than three months until I graduate from UC Berkeley, I've been getting nonstop questions about what I'm planning to do afterwards. While I have ideas, and options, the true answer is that I don't know.
 
Because of that, I'm taking each day in and just enjoying them to the best of my abilities. Truthfully, this time period came along so much faster than I ever expected. I've always cherished my ups and hated the downs but now, as my collegiate career is coming to an end, I find myself relishing in every moment-- good or bad. In a few short months, I will no longer be a UC Berkeley student or a collegiate athlete and truthfully, it's scary.
 
My journey of college softball has been a unique one. In the spring of 2015, as a freshman at Cal State Northridge I was goofy, rowdy, and a raw talent without much mental discipline. That same summer I played on the USA Junior National softball team and really found a sense of who I was as a softball player. The following season I decided to redshirt and transfer to UC Berkeley, the school of my dreams and my local hometown university.
 
 
As a transfer, I felt almost like a freshman again, but older. I wasn't attuned to the dynamics of the team or how everything worked, but I also wasn't enamored with or intimidated by the older players. Once I found my place on the team, I began to form friendships that are sure to span a lifetime. My first two years at Cal were much like my freshman year at CSUN-- me being the jokester who was bound to make some mistake.
 
Now, as a senior, I feel a strong sense of responsibility to the team and to the freshmen. Just as the senior classes before me, I aim to be an additional resource for the freshman class. When there's any inquiry about practice times, meeting times, or attire, I am one of the six seniors who the underclassmen look to for guidance and answers. Being a senior is a responsibility that you inherit whether or not you ask for it, and it's surely a big task. It's been a strange transition for me, but one that I, and the entire senior class, have taken in stride and continue to grow with each day.

After having played softball for roughly 12 years, one thing is certain-- The game of softball is changing and growing every day in more ways than one. From being the only Black girl, and certainly only Black pitcher at tournaments growing up, it's nice to see a much greater representation of women of color in softball these days. Some of the biggest names in softball are  women of Latin, Asian or African descent. According to the 2017 College Sport Race and Gender Report Card by the University of Central Florida, 25.5 percent of Division 1 softball players are women of color. Of the eighteen players on our roster this year, thirteen of us are women of color. My own "partner-in-crime" here at Cal, Kamalani Dung, is of Hawaiian, Chinese, and Puerto Rican descent. Having a pitching staff that boasts three women of color speaks volumes. Along with this, softball has gone from being a seldom-televised sport to a sport that reported over $450 million in revenue in the 2016-2017 academic year as well as more than 1.8 million viewers during the 2015 WCWS and is now considered a revenue sport.

Changes like these come after many years of struggle, triumphs and successes alike and are only possible through perseverance, determination, and a love for the game. Softball players possess the skillset and work ethic of any baseball player and we have begun to truly tap into our potential and fan base. The bonds we build with our teammates, coaches, fans, and opponents, are what make the sport grow-- aside from our astounding work ethic and athletic display.
 
With it being Women's History Month, it is imperative for me to pay attention to the ways in which softball has changed so drastically. For the first time in 12 years, after much struggle, softball will be back in the Olympics. Though it has been nixed from the short-list of sports for the 2024 Olympics, there is always hope. If we continue to promote our sport, and show how competitive, lively, and exciting it can be, we will one day gain the respect and admiration of our male counterparts and viewers from all over the world. Unfortunately, things like this take time, but hard work, patience, and steadfastness pay off in the end.